A week has gone by without my kids. I hate them being gone. I miss them terribly. I sit and see their stuff and I want to cry. I want to drive over to where they are and just hold them for hours. I want to cuddle with my babies and laugh with them. It is so hard to not have them and not have a choice of what is going on in their life. I think it would be easier to hear their voice whenever I wanted to. I know it is only 2 weeks, but it feels like eternity. And knowing that after not having them for 2 weeks, I only get a night and a weekend. then gone another 2 weeks. I want my kids to myself. But I do realize that they need a relationship with their dad. It is just that with his choices lately I worry about them more, knowing the things he is pulling and the careless way he can be.
Now if it wasn't for Devan and his kids being around this weekend I would have fallen into a major depression and hid from everyone. But I must go on and with God showing me that I can make it and showing me the ones who care. Thanks to my friends for taking me out and making the first week slide right by.
