One Sunday later.. Devastation takes its place. And when they say you have a broken heart and it is a heartache.. It truely hurts. It is spiritual pain, Emotional pain and shockingly enough physical pain. I hurt all over. Whether it is just the sickness in my belly, head pain from crying or just achy from the hurt. Even my heart physically hurts. I have always HATED lying. I hate being lied to.. I hate lying to people.. I am terrible at it.. absolutely terrible.. But being decieved by the man you love is nothing short of painful. How do you let it keep happening? There HAS got to be a line somewhere. I think I have found that line of NO MORE. Of moving on.. It hurts to say it and worse to think it.. but I believe God is telling me that I deserve better and to be with someone who gives me as much as I give them. Maybe this is what it will take for him to get it. To really understand the healing power of God of how to accept him into his heart so that changes can take place.
I can't even begin to thank the ones who have already been there for me and my kids. And the ones I know once they know will pop up to help to.. Even in the form of prayer. I know this sounds weird, but I thank especially those that can help him get better from the sickness inside. The ones who can stay neutral and love us both as we work out our lives separately. When you don't have anyone it sucks. I went a long time with no one by my side that could lift me up rather than drag me down. I went a long time worrying about everyone but myself and I lost my one true love. But when a bond is broken over and over the bond grows weak and it hurts so much worse reopening the wound.
Now I don't know if I am making any sense but here it is.. These are my thoughts.
4 comments:
Anytime you want to get together over a glass of wine and vent, I will be here for you! Stay strong and fabulous!
my love, I'm sooo, sooo sorry! I love you and will definitely pray for you! If there's anything I can do..don't hesitate! Hugs your way..big big hugs.
Hang in there Brooke! I can't imagine how painful it must be for you but I am sure it helps to write about it. I'm sending good thoughts your way and if you ever want to have a girl's night or need a babysitter, I'm not too far away!
((Group hug!))
Brooke, im here for you always, i think of you and your littles often.
Ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers sweetie, you deserve to be loved, to be happy, and to be supported and fullfilled.
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